Making Wise Decisions

Audio By Carbonatix

I had a conversation the other day with a young man who was trying to figure out how to handle the things that life was throwing his way. He was unsure of the best way to move forward in a complex situation. We all know that feeling, don’t we? Knowing he was really struggling to get some insight into the best approach, I asked him to imagine himself as an 80- or 90-year-old. I said, “If you have the privilege of living that long, what would that older version of you look back and want you to do?” That question really hit home for him. Sometimes, retrospect can help us get perspective.

Too many times, I think we make decisions that, even in real time, we realize weren’t the wisest. We tell ourselves that we’re “living in the moment” or “just enjoying life.” Well, those types of phrases can be the excuses that we give ourselves to make decisions that we know aren’t wise. The truth is that we may not think these things are a big deal in the moment, but they may end up causing us persistent pain for a long time.

I’m mostly thinking of decisions that will have a long-term emotional or relational impact. But to help you see how true this is, let me give an example of physical decisions we make when we’re young that catch up to us as we get older. Older teens and younger adults tend to think of themselves as indestructible. My guess is that the most reckless activities you ever participated in happened roughly between ages fifteen and twenty-five. I’m also willing to bet that if there were any people nearby in their forties or older, they spoke up and told you something like this: “Take care of your back (or your knees) when you’re young because that stuff will catch up with you.” Unfortunately, when we’re young, we think they’re telling us that one day we may eventually hurt ourselves doing something reckless. We don’t realize they mean the current activity we’re doing that doesn’t cause us any issues in the present could easily be the reason for lingering pain as we get older.

It’s a well-known fact that we need to treat our bodies with care, or we’ll end up regretting some of those decisions later in life. But for some reason, people aren’t as quick to speak up when they see others making decisions that will have long-term emotional or relational impacts. In fact, we almost do the opposite sometimes. We praise people who prioritize their careers because they’re “getting ahead,” even if that comes at the cost of not being very present with their spouse and kids. Or we think it’s “not our place” to say anything to a friend who we know has a “little crush” on somebody other than their spouse.

The truth is that aching joints as we age will not fill us with deep regret the same way that broken relationships will. No matter how much your knee hurts, it will never hurt as much as being estranged from a child, parent, or sibling. That’s why it’s so important to make sure that the decisions you’re making now are decisions that you’ll be happy with and proud of down the line. When you make wise long-term decisions for your emotional and relational health, you and your family will be winning more often at home.