Recalculating Route

Audio By Carbonatix

When I use an app for driving directions and I either ignore the recommendation or miss my turn, the app starts thinking and working as it recalculates. I’m probably personifying a device too much, but sometimes I feel like it’s annoyed at me for disobeying its directions. Maybe that happens in your marriage or family too. Your spouse does something in opposition to you or your kids travel down a different road than you would like.

It’s possible, however, that there is a good reason for taking a new path instead of the familiar trail. Maybe you’ve been going the distance in your marriage or family, using the same route and feeling like you’re spinning your wheels. Maybe it’s time to change the direction or simply make an unexpected turn down an unfamiliar street and rev up the engine.

I know one couple who has four children and their life is pretty hectic, which means they rarely spend any time together. Each child is in a different sport or activity and both parents work. It’s like everyone drives by each other and waves, but nobody stops and actually gets out of the car to connect. Finally, this couple decided it was time to recalculate their route.

They sat down one evening and mapped out how they could make it happen. They wanted at least two nights per week when the whole family could sit down for dinner. They knew that without a plan, it would only happen sporadically. That was no longer working. Nobody was connecting and the family was not eating healthy food. Dinner consisted of packaged, frozen, or fast food. The lack of contact with each other, along with the poor menu choices, could lead to emotional and health problems that will eventually affect work and school performance. The change did wonders to ignite their relationships and help get them back on the road to success.

For a couple of empty-nesters that have been married more than 30 years, it took more than a new itinerary to bridge their gap. She is involved in her own activities and spends most evenings out with friends, while he’s become more sedentary and enjoys staying home to watch television. It didn’t appear they had any common interests. While content, because it was comfortable and familiar, it wasn’t healthy for their relationship. It was time to recalculate their route.

They began with trying to find a way to spend time together doing something they both enjoyed. They had played a lot of cards when they were dating, so they began there and found a card club to join. That led to meeting other couples they both enjoy, and soon the shuffling around led to a newly-found passion for each other. They discovered that by seeking ways to recalculate their new life without children and beginning a journey with just each other, they could look forward to living the next years of their life with joy and romance.

If you find you are missing opportunities by always traveling the same route in your life, make an unexpected turn and recalculate your route. Not with irritation or annoyance, but with joy and anticipation of what lies just around the bend.