Marriage

The other day, I was helping my middle daughter fold her mountain of laundry while listening to 80’s songs (which, to be honest, was part of the reason I was helping her because I love the music from my generation), when my husband came into her doorway with “that face.” Maybe you know the face I am talking about. It’s the face of a question that speaks no words but declares the immediate need for attention. Deep down, I knew we needed some couple time; it was well overdue.

Let’s just say raising three daughters, who range in age, poses a bit of a strain on our union at times. So, with a quick wink to my girl, I signaled that she needed to finish her laundry, and I was going to spend some quality time with her dad. Yet, before I walked out of her bedroom, she gently grabbed my arm and asked the sweetest question – How do you stay so in love with dad after all these years?

Honestly, it caught me off guard, and I wasn’t really sure how to answer that so jolly on the spot, so my immediate response was, “It takes work.” But, if I were to really dig deeper into that question, I would add that it takes intentionality and humility to submit, serve in love, and allow your own heart to be sanctified.

Maybe you have also pondered that question. Whether it be your own marriage or that of another couple you admire, you want to know the blissful secret. Marriage surely is a beautifully complicated relationship, isn’t it? But how often do we address this question, or the quality of our love barometers, when things are good? Better yet, to make it more personal, how do you respond when your marriage has hit a stride and is currently in a “sweet spot”? Well, grab your sweetheart and get ready to open the lines of communication, because we’re going to talk about it!

If you’re navigating retirement as a married couple, here is how to protect your peace and pursue God together in this new season.

If you feel your marriage is falling apart, I hope to offer you some ideas for getting back on track. The following ideas are too simplistic for marriages involving abuse. They are intended for those who are growing apart and need help to find their way back to one another. 

We need to talk about emotional needs, deep wounds, and other issues that may come between us. Conflict may arise when this happens, but when you are committed to your marriage, you can be assured that you will always work things out.

Studying the Easter story brings couples closer together by making Jesus the center, deepening their conversations, strengthening their faith, and providing a deeper understanding of God and each other. Let this be a priority this year and be changed by the wonder-working power of the Easter story.

One of the specific ways we love our spouses is by saying “no” to things that cause distance or division. Consider these 5 things you can say “no” to in order to better your marriage.

They think back to their intimate times and feel like it was all a fraud. Their minds start spinning with how they were able to carry on marriage with this dark, dirty secret lurking in the corners. A spouse will feel deep betrayal and be forced to navigate some incredibly difficult feelings and emotions. They will feel like they were cheated on and be devastated that their spouse's sexual intimacy was projected onto someone other than them.

Some like to think marriage and friendship are best kept in different beds. However, marriage between best friends takes both matrimony and friendship to a whole new level. Here are 5 of the best things about marrying your best friend.

Biblical love is not a feeling; it's a commitment. In arranged marriages, the couples might not be in love when they first meet, but they are committed to the sanctity of marriage. I think many marriages dissolve today when the "feeling" of being in love departs.

Emotional cheating is a close (often secretive) intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse. It is different from a normal, healthy friendship because it negatively impacts your relationship with your spouse. It erodes commitment to a marriage or courtship by deflecting one partner’s attention and offering them an alternative emotional support system. 

When we don’t see the wolf in sheep’s clothing, missing the red flags, we can become entangled and find it hard to separate from them. As Christians who extend grace and mercy to people in our lives as an act of love, it’s even harder

All the great love stories of the world echo this greatest of love stories. And just like a good husband acts, God’s actions towards the Church are always full of love.

How do we stand up and fight for our marriages and ward off the evil and blatant attacks from the enemy that are so loud and easy to bend toward? Let's start by calling out the false claims and things we believe we "should" have in a Christian marriage. Then let's allow God to shift our perspectives and not strive for a fairy-tale marriage or become jaded by a hard-hearted relationship but thrive and grow together through faith and devotion.

If you’re bored in your marriage, you don’t have to seek a way out. Rather, you can create a new marriage from within.

The most important decision our child can make, apart from the decision to follow Christ, is who they chose as their spouse...In the not too distant future, her dad will walk her down the aisle, and we will release her from the safety and love of our care, into the care of a young man who’s identity we don’t yet know.

Christ's resurrection offers transformative power for our lives and marriages, shifting our focus to the foundational principles of service, perseverance, and forgiveness. Embracing God's enduring love and the resurrection's strength can revitalize your commitment and build a lasting, meaningful union.

Contrary to secular opinion, parenting is not the responsibility of one parent over the other. Nor is not parenting at all. Christian husbands are to take part in raising and nurturing their children. This also includes being a godly role model and teaching children values and character, manners, and investing in their spiritual growth and development.

Many things are expected of us as Christian wives. Foremost, we should be companions and helpmates to our husbands. Everything else should come after that. None of us are perfect. We are human and are all works in progress. If there are some things on this list that you struggle with or are hard for you, it’s okay. The most important thing is to be there for your husband, then your kids, and make sure you spend time with the Lord every day.

The expression of one’s love and how they receive it was made clearer when pastor Gary Chapman published the book, The Five Love Languages. In this groundbreaking resource, Chapman identified five languages of love; essentially, how people receive and share love.

We wanted so badly to be parents, but we were failing to be obedient to our own Father. We forgot to seek Him – first. He wasn’t our first plan; He was our last resort. We got ahead of ourselves and began planning on that dancefloor the day we said, “I do,” forgetting a major component (the most important component, might I add) of the equation – God! I guess you could say we were both lovestruck.