Not Always Grand

Audio By Carbonatix

It seems like everything these days is done as a grand gesture. I hear about crazy marriage proposals all the time. There is a guy who actually set himself on fire and then dove into a pool to prove to his girlfriend that he was hot for her. Now, he had a friend who was a stunt man, so it was all done safely. But still, something could have gone wrong. I read about another guy who proposed at 20,000 feet right before he and his fiancée were about to jump out of an airplane. I’m sure glad this wasn’t the trend when I was getting married. Who can afford all of it? How grand of a gesture is enough? I’m sure that’s what many men are thinking when they hear about these proposals. While I applaud the effort to show their love made by these men, it feels like it’s become more of a competition or a reality sport.

I believe what’s valued more are the little things that endear spouses to each other. It’s the smaller actions that don’t cost a lot but show your spouse that you love them. It doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture. I’m also not saying that because a couple is married, they don’t have to try as hard—I’m simply saying that couples should try to be more thoughtful than grandiose. For example, my wife learned how to play golf for me. She knew it was something I enjoyed, and she wanted it to be an activity we could do together. So, she surprised me and took lessons. That was huge for me. She wanted to show me she loved me so much that she did something out of her comfort zone so she could fit into mine.

I think people are often paralyzed by the grand actions of others. Instead of these gestures inspiring us, they overwhelm us to the point where we do nothing at all because we are afraid our actions won’t measure up. Our comparisons kill our effort.

We need to pay attention to all the little things in our spouse’s life that mean something monumental to them. People love to know that others care about them and their needs, that someone really has listened to them. Whether its playing golf together or something even smaller and quicker, find out what the little things are that would bring your wife joy. It’s doesn’t always have to be grand to be thoughtful and win more often at home.